slow going

[ruico]

Hey! I'm still checking the snowflake challenge every few days, I'm just feeling a bit uninspired, and the recent prompts, while wonderful, have me struggling a little bit. I think in general many of the challenges have had me realising how bad my relationship with fandom has gotten, since I sort of had no idea what to recommend, even if there is (obviously) some (a lot) fanworks I enjoy.
I really want to interact with people too, that's the whole reason why I joined snowflake, and I already think I've talked to some really cool people, so I'm grateful -- but still excited to continue and keep talking to more people. Right now I just don't really have the energy for it.

I did ok today, though! I showered and changed my bedsheets, and... well, lol, saying it out loud doesn't make it sound as great as it felt when I finally did it, lol, but I also cleaned the kitchen a bit, and this kind of stuff really does wonders for me. I hope I can continue cleaning my place tomorrow, so it'll be all nice and neat for next week.

Work wise I'm doing pretty alright too, I extended my contract another year, and my boss and coworkers seemed really happy, which made me feel good and welcomed too -- which is also the main reason why I wanted to stay, lol. I don't really feel like I have that many huge issues in my life right now, at least not any at the forefront of my mind, but my mood still plummets quite often rn, because I started feeling very conflicted about what I'm into. I think I was quite spoiled in older fandoms, oftentimes being into the most popular things, and if not, being in fandoms that were at least very welcoming of rarepairs and gen content. Idk... It's probably just my own issues, but at the moment I keep questioning myself and my choices, because from the beginning I was told that X was better than Y, even though I liked Y from the start. I can't even do the usual "enjoying things with just my friends" because none of my friends are into the exact same things as I am, and it's sort of just made me feel worse. And I'm not quite ready to make new friends in the fandom, because so many people are so goddamn awful, lol. I don't know. I probably just have to relax and do something else. Like catch up on my writing goal for the month, or read a book like I wanted to. There's actually a book waiting for me at the library! It'll be my second time attempting to read it, lol, but I'd like to think that my attention span has gotten better again since last.

If all that fails, I also just restarted an old game I never finished. It's so scary and atmospheric, I adore it!! 

I hope you guys are doing good, talk to you soon, hopefully! ( ´ ▽ ` )ﾉ

Comments

[tropicsbear]

Congrats on the work stuff and good luck with the fandom stuff!

[dreamersdare]

It's okay to not feel inspired by Snowflake. I looked at today's challenge and went "...uh, no clue" and I am super into my fandoms all by myself :D

But, you know, it's nice having fandom friends who are into what you're into, but if you can't find them, having people who are enthusiastic about the fact that you're enthusiastic runs a close second. Most of my flist has very minimal crossover in our fannish interests, but it's still fun to bounce at them (for me, anyway, and none of them have left yet).

Funnily enough though, I have been having this conversation with corvidology about the frustration of fanon 'truths'. That sort of, 'X and Y must be together', 'X wouldn't act like that', 'Z is always submissive' - that kind of rubbish. Because it really is rubbish. I mean, have all the head canon you like, but be aware that it is just head canon - your preferences do not in any way reflect what the rest of the fandom should be doing. Don't like? Don't read.

You like whatever the hell you like, hon. I ship many rarepairs that other people don't see, and my response to that is simply 'broaden your horizons; this interpretation is fun too'. Also, I'm prepared to bet money that if you like it, somewhere out there, someone else does too, even if they're not feeling brave enough to say it (which, in a toxic environment, is perfectly reasonable). Squee at your flist; do a spam post about how amazing these characters are and how you see them. I'll bet there's no-one here that will tell you you're wrong :)

[rukario]

don't sweat it, friend! i'm in the same boat as you in regards to feeling uninspired, and i can definitely relate to not being able to recommend anything even if i do like a lot of fan labor. i suppose it's just helpful to keep in mind that there's no wrong way of "doing" fandom.

continue taking care of yourself, i'm cheering you on in my corner of the world \^o^/