dream 20200726

HERE WE GO.
this one started out with me in my old room, from back when i lived in my moms place. i had a very narrow room, half of it basically taken up by the ikea 'malm' dressers i had. i was looking through them for clothes because my friend and i were invited for the gala at my uni ?? idk man. 
that part of my dream ended bc i woke up at 8am like what the hell dude. i remember finding some pretty sweet ugly ass clothes that i do not own irl but kinda wish i did.
after that, it got a bit scarier. at least to me lol. my mom in this dream was not my real mom, but my dad was himself, and they were still divorced. my room was the same, but the rest of the apartment was completely different, and for some reason my mom had my uncle over, even though he's my uncle from my dad's side of the family, and he had his family over. while they ate, they all talked about random stuff but also how much of a nuisance i was, and since i was old enough, they wanted to kick me out. also, did i mention, apparently we were in a fictional new york? so i had no way of affording rent and really panicked. when my uncle left, my mom told me the news and i tried to hide from everyone in the house.
i ended up in my brothers room, which was big and looked like a child's room. irl my brother is a teenager, but this was like the room of someone who wasnt even 10 i think. anyway, even when he did go into my room, he was also younger. i think i was supposed to be 18 in this dream too, so it makes sense he was younger, but he was a few years younger than he was supposed to be, and he was shocked to see me, knowing my mom wanted to kick me out, but when i pleaded for him to let me hide there for a moment, he relented.

then my dad came visiting, and he entered my brother's room and saw me, i don't remember his reaction but he and my brother were talking, discussing something but not quite fighting, and my brother walked over to my dad but since i was in the way and he had to like go between me and a table he fell headfirst and his front tooth fell out. we panicked, i cried, and my dad and i tried to contact a dentist to help it, i plopped the tooth back in my brother's mouth, hoping it could be put back in (???? idk man)

anyway, scene cut and my brother couldnt go to the dentist, but a 24h emergency room clinic thing. idk. more importantly, i was now kicked out, and for some reason all i had was my backpack and a plane ticket, so i took the plane, and when i sat down in it, the stewardess came over and opened my back, pulling out some makeup i recently had bought with a friend (will be relevant later) and showed it to me. she asked if i stole it from the plane or duty free store and i was like ?? no?? its new but its a bit used, just check. and she was like well since its not in a duty free bag i will have to confiscate it" and fake smiled before leaving. i was really upset, but got over it VERY quickly when i looked out the window and realised just how low the plane was flying. we were in new york, basically only like 10 floors above street level, and the plane was swerving between buildings etc.

also, idk abt you guys but some surroundings in my dreams sometimes come back. we were supposed to be in a completely diff city than one i had a dream in with metro stations earlier, but for some reason the plane didnt crash at first, until A HULK1!!1 GREEN BIG GUY came out from this one over ground metro station and grABBED the plane, ripping it open. sitting completely still, i looked up at him and he reached his hand down, grabbing mine and like.. greeting me. and everyone was like GASPPP.. and then he moved on, ran away to like. detransform idk man.

but the moment he did i knew who it was. miles morales. mind you, i haven't even watched into the spiderverse or read the comics or anything lol i just know how he kind of looks, and he was obvs my age. anyway, me now knowing his secret, we had a moment. 

man, you know how dreams just skip over parts and are like "now its like this" well, first of all i wasn't like irl me, i was a really pretty 18 year old mixed american girl now, and he and i def had a Thing going on, but not dating quite yet. and i even had a quirky white girl friend, the one i bought my makeup with that got confiscated on the plane who had like shoulder length weird hair and a weird style, but she was cute and creative and bla bla so we were still besties. it kinda all ended with miles, me and her going through somewhere downtown (?????) and deciding to sign up for uni, miles and me wanted to do drama, i forgot why, apparently we were gonna star in some musical? already had??? i dont remember, and my quirky friend who had something w makeup going on was gonna do business and make her own makeup empire.

cut to me joining a drama class ALONE, back in my home country, but still sorta the girl from before, sorta myself. i entered the class and a bunch of my old high school classmates were there since half of my class, i wasnt included, had drama classes. i brought a notebook and an old girls magazine where i had scribbled notes into it, and idk there was smth important abt it, magic? idk. and miles and i were p much together now, but the second i entered that class i felt so small again, and it was a masters class not bachelor level so most others knew each other. the prof asked me and the other new person to present ourselves, and the other guy did some movies or smth, and i was abt to mention that musical, but slowly i lost memories and just became myself again and panicked, bc i felt like i didnt fit in suddenly, w everyone else having taken drama n acting classes for years and me being sorta new, i didn't want to mention stuff from childhood.

some guy tried sleeping on my leg ad it was weird so after a while i tried nudging him off, and then two girls from my old class started asking abt the magazine i brought with me. i myself barely remembered what was so important abt it but i knew i couldnt let them look at it so i just told them i had old notes in it and laughed.

then i woke up.
and once again i realise that a dream that was kinda wild for me must just sound really weird when reading lol. the fear and heartbreak i felt when i was thrown out, or when i saw my brother get hurt/lose his tooth bc of me. the terrifying moment in the plane and when the hulk came, only to realise he was sweet to me :} the feeling of hope and like i finally found a place i fit in when i walked thru downtown at night in the rain with miles and my friend, all of us having actual plans for the future, and then instantly being thrust into an environment i definitely felt like i didnt fit into, losing all of my reasons for belonging etc. idk man. IT WAS A COOL DREAM, and the hulk-miles moment was so much more tender and sweet than described, but you know how dreams go, i barely remember stuff as is, and the second u go to write things down, p much all of it just gets wiped from ur brain, p much like what happened to me in the drama lecture.