slow going
Jan. 23rd, 2022 12:52 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
ruicoHey! I'm still checking the snowflake challenge every few days, I'm just feeling a bit uninspired, and the recent prompts, while wonderful, have me struggling a little bit. I think in general many of the challenges have had me realising how bad my relationship with fandom has gotten, since I sort of had no idea what to recommend, even if there is (obviously) some (a lot) fanworks I enjoy.
I really want to interact with people too, that's the whole reason why I joined snowflake, and I already think I've talked to some really cool people, so I'm grateful -- but still excited to continue and keep talking to more people. Right now I just don't really have the energy for it.
I did ok today, though! I showered and changed my bedsheets, and... well, lol, saying it out loud doesn't make it sound as great as it felt when I finally did it, lol, but I also cleaned the kitchen a bit, and this kind of stuff really does wonders for me. I hope I can continue cleaning my place tomorrow, so it'll be all nice and neat for next week.
Work wise I'm doing pretty alright too, I extended my contract another year, and my boss and coworkers seemed really happy, which made me feel good and welcomed too -- which is also the main reason why I wanted to stay, lol. I don't really feel like I have that many huge issues in my life right now, at least not any at the forefront of my mind, but my mood still plummets quite often rn, because I started feeling very conflicted about what I'm into. I think I was quite spoiled in older fandoms, oftentimes being into the most popular things, and if not, being in fandoms that were at least very welcoming of rarepairs and gen content. Idk... It's probably just my own issues, but at the moment I keep questioning myself and my choices, because from the beginning I was told that X was better than Y, even though I liked Y from the start. I can't even do the usual "enjoying things with just my friends" because none of my friends are into the exact same things as I am, and it's sort of just made me feel worse. And I'm not quite ready to make new friends in the fandom, because so many people are so goddamn awful, lol. I don't know. I probably just have to relax and do something else. Like catch up on my writing goal for the month, or read a book like I wanted to. There's actually a book waiting for me at the library! It'll be my second time attempting to read it, lol, but I'd like to think that my attention span has gotten better again since last.
If all that fails, I also just restarted an old game I never finished. It's so scary and atmospheric, I adore it!!
I hope you guys are doing good, talk to you soon, hopefully! ( ´ ▽ ` )ﾉ
I really want to interact with people too, that's the whole reason why I joined snowflake, and I already think I've talked to some really cool people, so I'm grateful -- but still excited to continue and keep talking to more people. Right now I just don't really have the energy for it.
I did ok today, though! I showered and changed my bedsheets, and... well, lol, saying it out loud doesn't make it sound as great as it felt when I finally did it, lol, but I also cleaned the kitchen a bit, and this kind of stuff really does wonders for me. I hope I can continue cleaning my place tomorrow, so it'll be all nice and neat for next week.
Work wise I'm doing pretty alright too, I extended my contract another year, and my boss and coworkers seemed really happy, which made me feel good and welcomed too -- which is also the main reason why I wanted to stay, lol. I don't really feel like I have that many huge issues in my life right now, at least not any at the forefront of my mind, but my mood still plummets quite often rn, because I started feeling very conflicted about what I'm into. I think I was quite spoiled in older fandoms, oftentimes being into the most popular things, and if not, being in fandoms that were at least very welcoming of rarepairs and gen content. Idk... It's probably just my own issues, but at the moment I keep questioning myself and my choices, because from the beginning I was told that X was better than Y, even though I liked Y from the start. I can't even do the usual "enjoying things with just my friends" because none of my friends are into the exact same things as I am, and it's sort of just made me feel worse. And I'm not quite ready to make new friends in the fandom, because so many people are so goddamn awful, lol. I don't know. I probably just have to relax and do something else. Like catch up on my writing goal for the month, or read a book like I wanted to. There's actually a book waiting for me at the library! It'll be my second time attempting to read it, lol, but I'd like to think that my attention span has gotten better again since last.
If all that fails, I also just restarted an old game I never finished. It's so scary and atmospheric, I adore it!!
I hope you guys are doing good, talk to you soon, hopefully! ( ´ ▽ ` )ﾉ
